All I want for Chrismakah

Written by on December 15, 2011 in Perspectives, Public Transit - No comments

A small shrub honouring an icon.

If you look closely at the photo on the left, you’ll see it’s a Christmas tree – but decorated with photos of a young Barbra Streisand. The handiwork of Rhonda Lieberman, a “Barbra Bush” may just be the perfect way to celebrate Chrismakah . (That’s Christmas and Hanukah for those who may be wondering.)

Naturally, there are a few things on my Chrismakah list that are a little futuristic and perhaps downright fantastical. For example: I’d like a car where every surface is heated. Not just heated seats and a heated steering wheel, but a heated dashboard, floormat, gearshift, etc. I don’t want to touch anything cold. Ever.

This would extend to the outside. If all the body panels were heated, why, the snow would just mellllt away.

While we’re at it, how about the car colour changing at the touch of a button? That’s because sometimes, I’d like to have a pink car. That’s when I ‘m parking in a dubious neighbourhood. Nobody steals pink cars, right?Then it could switch back to silver when I’m ready to leave.

And wouldn’t it be great if my car shrank so it could fit into really tiny parking spaces? That way I wouldn’t have to bash the cars around me like this idiot.

Then there’s the question of fuel. You can go ahead and run your car on hydrogen or electricity, but me, I’d like my car to run on my favourite beverage – like hot chocolate or green tea. I know I’d never run out!

How about some additional lanes on the roadways? Not just for bicycles, but for those drivers who simply must attend to their text messages. That’s because all cars would be equipped with motion detecting software that lights up a big LED rooftop sign “CAUTION DRIVER TEXTING” as soon as they reach for their Crackberry.

Finally, I’d like my car to turn into a streetcar like the King 504. That way, I really could use transit as much as I want to. And … I’d be on time.

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