This year, sportscar fever gripped me a little later than usual. That’s good, because last year I came down with a bad case of it in March, and consequently got a Toyota Scion FRS stuck in the snow. So this year, it was only fair to give the Scion FRS another chance, but in decent weather. And as soon as I got the spec sheet from Toyota, I could see this was no ordinary FRS – it was a special edition with a custom Toyota Racing Department (TRD) body kit, in a colour called “Yuzu.” Hmm.
And “Yuzu” turned out to be a dramatic shade of yellow – hardly the mellow yellow of song, but more like a bellow yellow. Yup, this 2015 Toyota Scion FRS Series 1.0 was a blistering yellow batmobile!
Not only could people see me coming, they could also hear me coming. That’s because this little beauty had a custom TRD exhaust to match its body kit. It was all sassy flourishes, from a sneering lower front lip arcing back to a flippant rear spoiler, and a rowdy purr that tickled my eardrums.
It’s really the only way to travel, slung low to the blacktop behind a curved nose that jutted out impertinently, ready to chew up the road. Pushing the start button, a low honeyed rumble tickled the firewall and spread under my seat, sure-footedly percolating throughout the cabin, and out the quad-tip exhaust. A mere tap on the accelerator sent a thundering blaze of bass ripping through the car and shook my heart. The soundquake gripped my wrists and I punched into gear, opening up down the road, my head swimming in the joyful resonance.
And that was just the beginning. The Scion turned heads wherever I drove, along College Street, where a comely young man on a bicycle whirred by, did a double take, and gave me a thumbs-up. As we murmured at a stoplight, I absent-mindedly patted the accelerator, and the Scion responded with a thundering growl. Oops! I prayed no police were in the vicinity, as I might surely be mistaken for a tuner punk. Well, at least until they looked inside.
One day, I drove with my cousin up to a friend’s used car dealership to cash in his elderly Benz. As might be expected, the yellow batmobile garnered the lion’s share of attention, while the geriatric C320 huddled in a corner. It was a little like showing up at the high school prom with Jon Bon Jovi. My friend and his partner couldn’t tear themselves away from the Scion, admiring its sleek and sexy lines. I fired up the Boxer engine so they could marvel at its mellifluous thunder, hoping to segue into a dialogue about the Benz’s own elegant assets, but alas, it was not to be.
And there was one party whose attention I could have done without – the local parking authorities. Let it be noted here that I always contribute to the meter, and if I sometimes loiter longer than expected, it’s usually overlooked. But the yellow batmobile drew parking cadets like flies. Two parking tickets in as many days – that’s twice as many as I get in an entire year! So I kept the Scion off the street, and coughed up serious bucks for underground parking lots. I wonder if Bruce Wayne had this problem?
Then one morning, I noted that the action adventure “Suicide Squad” was filming right here in Toronto. Never mind that Jared Leto, Ben Affleck, Margot Robie were in town. The real stars were the cars, and the main drags had been shut down overnight for chase scenes between the for-real Batmobile and the Joker’s fuchsia Lamborghini.
I just hope we didn’t confuse anyone.